Marriage and Divorce: What Does the Bible Say?

           Guest Post by my friend and fellow Bible searcher, Jan Craig.              

 

                  Marriage and Divorce: What Does the Bible Say?

“I don’t love you anymore.”  “You’re a fanatical Christian, and I can’t stand living with you anymore.”  “I am in love with someone else, and I want out of this marriage.” 

Do any of those sound familiar? Perhaps you have made one of these statements or you are wondering if it is alright with God to divorce your spouse for some reason.  You may be in a relationship where your spouse is physically and/or emotionally abusive, and you wonder if divorce is an option.  These and many other statements and situations are common questions Christians have today.  God has given us commandments and wise council concerning marriage and divorce. Two issues are especially important to look at.  This post will address one of those, the sanctity of marriage. The second will be addressed in a later post.

Marriage and divorce are some of the most difficult topics to confront in the times we are living in, especially for believers. I have a passion to help Christian couples stay together.  You see, both my husband and I came from divorced homes.  My parents were active in living for Christ. However, they divorced in the 1950’s when Christian divorces were barely even heard of happening. Because my husband and I were Christians when we married and carried the scars of divorce, we promised each other before we married that divorce was not an option for us.  We believed that since we vowed before our Holy God, our family and friends, to honor marriage as He intended it to be, then no matter what, we would stick together through sickness and health, and for richer or poorer until death departs us.  

The Bible is the greatest book ever written, and it is our guide.  Nothing has been changed from its beginning and never will change because God Himself never changes.  His message is for all time and He is Holy.  So, I figure it is the best place to study about marriage and divorce.  1 Corinthians 7 is a great place to begin. I encourage you to take the time to read through that chapter and meditate on what it says.

Paul wishes in verse 1 that all men were like him and not married so they can do the Lord’s work fulltime.  Later on he says the same about women.                              

However, Paul states in the next verse that he realizes that sexual immorality is occurring and each man should have his own wife.  This also applies to the woman.  Let’s stop here and define what God says a woman is and what a man is since today’s culture gives varying definitions. In Genesis 2:18, and 23-24 God makes it clear that they are different. God saw that the man was lonely, so he made a woman for him.  Why a woman and not another man?  Two men were more likely to challenge each other to different activities, like who was the strongest?  That is something all men like to do. But that does not meet the deepest need a man has.  All the animals had mates so they could reproduce their kind.  Adam didn’t have the joy of companionship or being able to help in reproducing other human beings.  The woman met his need for companionship and also for reproducing a human being after his kind.  Like the other species, the female conceives and produces a baby that grows in her womb. That has been God’s plan from the beginning. 

The physical differences of the man and the woman play a very important part in demonstrating the deepest form of love physically that no other relationship can provide. Paul addresses that in verses 3-6.  Here he talks about the intimate relationship between the husband and wife. That couple is now one in God’s eyes.  That means they are to be sensitive to one another’s needs for intimacy. It also means they are to have a sexual relationship only between each other for life.   Dr. Warren Wiersbe, a noted theologian, put it this way, “be in tune with each other at all times.”  In other words, neither should tell the other when sex is going to take place. God made sex to enjoy within the marriage relationship!  It isn’t a sin in the marriage relationship, but outside of marriage it is.  Paul cautions married couples to only abstain from sex when both the husband and wife decide to do so during a short times of prayer and fasting. The reason for that is so neither of them will be tempted by Satan to find gratification somewhere else.

In verses 8 and 9, Paul goes on to say that the unmarried and the widows should stay unmarried as he is.  But he again realizes that all men and women aren’t like him. Those who are burning with passion should go ahead and marry because marriage is better than gratifying that need in other ways that are not pleasing to God.

Paul changes his focus from marriage to divorce in verses 10 and 11. These words are a command from our Sovereign Lord.  He says, “a wife must not divorce her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.” See, in God’s eyes you are still married to each other. Once a couple has consummated their marriage, He means for that marriage to last as long as one of them is still living.           

Verse 12-16 discusses a Christian wife who has an unbelieving husband. If he is willing to stay with her, then she is not to divorce him. This is referring to a wife who became a Christian after they got married. Other scripture instructs that in marriage, the two should not be unequally yoked – meaning a believer should marry another believer. However, if one becomes a Christian after marriage, the spouse just might become a believer because of how the other lives. The part that is hard to understand is in verse 14 where it says the spouse and children will become sanctified as long as they stay together. We know that each person must make their own decision to follow Christ and live for Him.  So, how does the spouse and children become sanctified by being with the believer?  I agree with Dr. Weirsbe’s understanding “that the believer exerts a spiritual influence in the home that can lead to the salvation of the spouse and children.” Obviously, that would be by the work of the Holy Spirit!  But if the unbelieving spouse wants a divorce because he or she doesn’t want to stay with a Christian wife or husband, then so be it. But this is not an excuse for remarriage. Remember, in God’s eyes the first intimate relationship is the only one acceptable to Him except in a few specific cases.

Divorce is a very difficult topic to approach, and I hurt deeply for those who are divorced, no matter what the circumstances. In another post we will look at adultery, and the effects of divorce on the children.  But for now I want to encourage those who have divorced and remarried.  I’m sure you didn’t expect to be divorced. We don’t enter into marriage expecting it to end in divorce. But please know this: God loves you and is there for you. If you feel your divorce was not allowed according to His Word, then know that as God’s child, He will forgive you when you come to him with a repentant heart.

For the unmarried and the one contemplating divorce, realize it will take a toll on you.  One lady told me this about divorce, “Divorce isn’t easy, and it is the worst devastation a person can go through.  A broken marriage is like robbing one of love. Love is what makes life worth living.  Love goes into the deepest part of our souls.  When love is robbed from you, there is a loneliness which is so agonizing that you feel you can’t bear it.”  Another said it is like death.  You go through the steps of grieving, but the spouse is still alive, which makes it hard to completely heal.  A counselor friend of mine said that every marriage goes through a time when you want to divorce.  I say this as a warning to the unmarried and the wife contemplating divorce.  Stick with the marriage if possible, because you can reconnect and have a happy marriage even if it takes 20 years. I know.

As a time of personal reflection, meditate on the following questions:

1.      Why do you think it was so important for my husband and me to promise each other and God that we would not divorce?

2.      Why is it important to know that God is perfect and holy and His commandments and His laws last forever?

3.      What is the difference between a man and a woman?  Why is this important to God?

4.      Why has God’s plan for morality not changed down through the ages?

If you have questions about anything you’ve read here or your personal situation, please consult your pastor or a counselor that is a believer in Christ and believes the Bible is all truth. We will finish looking at Paul’s teaching on marriage in a future post.

Remember that God is perfect and His plan for us is perfect.

  

               

 

               

 

        

                         

 

 

 

                                                                   

Praying God's Will

Enjoy this guest post from my friend and fellow Bible searcher, Jan Craig. Thank you, Jan, for these words of wisdom about accepting God's will even when it's not what we prayed for!

When we pray to God, we often say at the end of our prayer something like this, "I pray this according to Your will, Lord. Amen." ...But do we really mean that? Many times we come to God with our selfish desires, and we want God to answer us "according to my will, Lord. Amen" We just know that our way is the BEST way. We can't imagine that there could be a better way!

I have prayed for years that God would take away the almost constant pain I have. But God keeps saying, "No." And I keep saying, "Why won't You take this pain away? If You take it away, then I can use the gifts You have given me. I can't serve You when I am in pain daily. It just doesn't make sense to me! I want to serve You." His "no" answer coupled with my pain would make me feel like I had no value.

One day I realized that God didn't want to take my pain away. What?!! Why not? That was just not something I could comprehend.  But God had other plans for me.

Remember Paul and the thorn in his side that caused him so much pain? Paul prayed three times that the Lord would take his thorn away. God's response each time was no. We don't know what his thorn was. It could have been physical or emotional; but whatever it was, God permitted Satan to sift and torment Paul. Satan thought surely Paul couldn't be used by God while dealing with such pain. But God meant it and used it for good. And we know that God causes everything to work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

God does the same for us. When we are willing to let go of our desires, then He can begin to work in our lives also. My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor. 12:7-9) When Paul was willing to accept his pain, then God's grace could begin to work in his life. Before Paul believed that Christ died for his sins, He had Christians imprisoned and some put to death. God, through a relationship with Christ, brought Paul understanding of what grace is. And that grace took Paul from persecuting believers to preaching and discipling others for Christ; and they, in turn, went out and did the same. Paul was given strength and determination to do this work despite the thorn that didn't go away. Paul's passion became doing the better plan God had for him.

All of us need God's grace. God's grace is Him giving us what we don't deserve. He gives us His unconditional love and His perfect holy Son who died for our sins. Can we accept God's answer of no to our will and say yes to doing His will in our lives?

I am excited! I am willing to accept His answer and say, "I pray this in Your will, Lord." I am ready to go out into this great world and see what He has for me that is much better that what I could have planned for myself. I hope you are willing to accept God's answer for you and get excited to see Him reveal His better plan for you!

Jan Craig

The Choice is Ours To Make

Paul's letter to the Philippian church is a call to live out the Christian life joyfully - in the pleasant seasons of life as well as through the storms that come our way. Through the first two chapters, he crystalizes a concept that has been turning over in my mind, and I want to challenge each of us to give it serious consideration as we continue to traverse the journey set before us. The concept is about the choice we must make in order to live in the joy that Paul talks so much about.

Paul put into perfect perspective the choice we have as believers and followers of Christ Jesus. In Philippians 1:21 he says, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." His whole purpose in life was to speak out boldly for Christ and to become more like Him. Living means developing eternal values, living those values out, which brings the fruit of the Spirit into one's personal experience even in the darkest of days, and helping others find and live those values out through a personal relationship with Christ. When that is your heart's desire and your perspective on life, then dying is even better! In death, there is no more suffering, none of the "issues" that plague us, plus the fulfillment of seeing Christ face-to-face! 

If we don't choose that path, then we live in Philippians 2:21 where he says, "For they (those who are not believers AND those believers who do not fix their eyes consistently on Christ) all seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus." Believers who seek their own interests are the ones who are overcome by the storms of life. They are drowning in their own self-pity, despair, depression, frustration, and/or anger because of what life has brought their way. These are the most frustrated, unhappy people on earth because deep in their heart is the Spirit's call to refocus their mind on the Christ - in whom they once put their trust.

Obviously, no one has reached perfection, and we won't until that day when He calls us home. So for now, it is impossible for us to live completely and solely in 1:21. However, we do choose from which perspective we strive to consistently live our lives. For some, it is a conscious, overt choice. For others, it has become a choice of omission. 

I know from scripture that each of us lives consistently in one of those choices.  We either live for Christ, doing our best and with the help of the Holy Spirit striving everyday to fix our gaze on Him and allowing Him to guide us in all that we do. Or we live for ourselves, giving an occasional glance His way. There is not much middle ground on this issue. We either are - or we aren't. 

This concept has really hit me as I ponder my life and the issues my family and I have been and are dealing with in the last year or so. There are things that I have not shared publicly because I am not at liberty to do so. But just know that you are not alone in facing down the giants of heartache and heartbreak. It comes to all of us as seasons we must pass through. Let's choose to live in 1:21 and live for Christ in the good times and the bad. And let's choose to be burdened believers as Epaphroditus was - burdened for the needs and concerns of others (Philippians 2:25-30). And let's choose the Word of God and prayer as our spiritual weapons to use to spread our faith and defend our faith and that of our sisters in Christ. When we choose to live for Christ, we are choosing joy!

Pavlov's Dogs and Contentment...

Ivan Pavlov

Ivan Pavlov won a Nobel Prize in 1904 for his research in behavior modification with dogs. I remember studying this in my Intro to Psychology class. He realized that his dogs associated food with the ringing of a small bell. Everytime he rang the bell, he fed the dogs, which led him to notice that the dogs would begin to salivate when they heard the bell ring. His discovery led to a break-through in the study and work ofpsychological conditioning in humans. Basically, he figured out that the dogs' response to the bell was learned behavior.



Lily Eoff

We used behavior modification with our Bichon, Lily. Knowing that Bichons are highly intelligent and trainable (they were once known as circus dogs!), we set out to teach her to do tricks when she was a young puppy. Our problem was getting her to recognize and then emulate the desired behavior; getting her to take a treat was the easy part! Take barking for instance. Either Garry or I would say, "Bark!" then bark and show a treat. We did this over and over. I'm sure anyone looking in the window would have thought about calling the guys in the white coats! However, eventually, Lily got the picture and at the command "Bark!" she finally let out a pitiful gurgle that we praised furiously and then fed her a treat. Well, she liked that, so we continued and she became very astute at barking for her treats. Eventually, she learned to stand, sit, roll over, sneeze, and even dance. I won't go into the details of how all of those were achieved (or you might call the white-coat guys!). The point is that all those tricks were learned behaviors - that's Nobel Prize material!!

Okay, I know I sort of got carried away, but stay with me - I have another point to make, and it's an important one.

I won't string you out - here it is: Contentment, emotional and spiritual, is a learned behavior.

So, what is contentment, really? The word means satisfaction or ease of mind. That's easy to understand as I think of emotions - easy to understand, not necessarily to achieve. Spiritually, it means agreeing with God that everything I have is everything I need. That one is not easy to understand or achieve!

The opposite of contentment is anxiety. Paul had this say about anxiety -

• "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7

So emotional and spiritual contentment leads to a kind of peace that the human mind can experience, but not understand enough to put into words. When you experience that kind of peace, you just know it!

Liar, Liar...

"Liar, liar, pants on fire!" - A familiar childhood chant we've all probably sang out to tease our friends. Think for a moment about why people lie. Obviously, to distort the truth, change someone's perception or perspective, or to avoid detection. Those are probably the main reasons for lying. We've all done it at some time(s) and to some extent. Most of us do not lie to cause harm, but unfortunately, not all lies are so innocent.

Ervin W. Lutzer says in 10 Lies About God and the Truths That Shatter Deception , that there are lies about God that permeate our culture.

• God is whatever we want Him to be.
• Many paths lead into God's presence.
• God is more tolerant than He used to be.
• God has never personally suffered.
• God is obligated to save followers of other religions.
• God takes no responsibility for natural disasters.
• God does not know our decisions before we make them.
• God helps those who help themselves.

92 percent of Americans say they believe in God. That make us a "Christian" society, right? Wrong... When pressed, statistics tell a different story. Americans believe in spirituality, but not necessarily the God of our Bible and Jesus Christ. Somewhere along the way, America has bought into lies about the God of the universe, and believers are standing silently by - allowing the Truth to be distorted.

To begin to really understand this dilemma and to begin to counteract it, we must know who the main players are in this drama.

One is God - the God of the universe - We must know our ally, His nature, and how He works:

• The One by whom all that is created was created (Rev. 4:11).
• The One who is all powerful, all knowing, and all present.
• The One who does not change (Malachi 3:6).
• The One who says, "I AM who I AM." ( Exodus 3:14).
• The One who says, "I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Light..." (John 14:6).

To know that One is to know Jesus and the Word. We need to study it and hide its truths in our hearts to foil Satan's attempts to veil our eyes (2 Cor. 4:3).

The other player is Satan himself. We must know our adversary, his nature, and how he works:

• 1 Peter 5:8 - ...your adversary, the devil, is prowling about like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour
• 2 Cor. 4:3-4 - ...Satan is the god of this world...and the one who tries to keep us from seeing Truth
• John 17:15, Eph. 6:16 - Satan is the evil one...
• Eph. 2:2 - Satan is the prince of power of the unseen world...
• John 8:44 - Satan is a murderer, a liar, and the father of lies...
• Rev. 12:9 - Satan is a dragon, the serpent of old, and the deceiver...
• 2 Cor. 11:14 - Satan disguises himself as an angel of light...

How easily deceived we can be when our eyes are not focused on Jesus consistently. Yet, it seems so simple. On one hand we have Truth, on the other hand we have the Father of Lies. But that liar will never come to us looking like the red guy with a tail and pitchfork. He will come dressed in all kinds of disguises trying to trick us, deceive us, and destroy us.

Believers need to choose to no longer stand silently by and let our world believe the enemy's lies about God.

As we begin a new week, I echo those words of Peter to all of you and to myself: "Be sober of spirit, be on alert...our enemy is seeking someone to destroy..."

I also echo the words of David, "But the Lord abides forever; He has established His throne for judgement...The Lord will also be a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble...and those who know Your name will put their trust in You. For You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You." (Psalm 9:7-10)

The Attitude of Gratitude...

I am all about peace, love, and joy– I’ve said before that I am definitely a child of the ‘70’s! When I was in high school, I cruised around in my parents’ old Pontiac with wire-rim glasses, long, straight hair, and hippy beads. “Peace” was our by-word. My bedroom door was filled with strings of beads, and when I was home, incense was burning in some weird jar on my dresser, and I was strumming the guitar. My airwaves were

A Rendition of My High School Days

 bouncing with John Denver, Bread, or The Beatles. I truly was a hippie-wanna-be! But I was never truly a hippie. Why? Goodness knows that countless others in my generation totally embraced the attitude and lifestyle of that culture that so changed America’s values and even our society’s vision of God.  

I know what happened – or didn’t happen – to me. I didn’t cross over into hippiedom because I never fully embraced the defining, life-changing elements of that culture – drugs and the sexual revolution. Thirty-plus years of hindsight makes me so grateful that I didn’t because I see the evolution of our culture due to those troubled years. And, as you know, what we see is not all that good.

There are three reasons why I didn’t choose that path. One was availability. I grew up in a small town, the daughter of a preacher, who gave a daily devotional and prayer on the school’s PA system every morning. I didn’t run with the crowd that got into drinking and drugs – and no one was chasing me down to offer them to me. At times, I thought I was not very cool, but I know God was protecting me. A second reason for not choosing that path was pure fear – of my parents! I loved life and sure didn’t want it to end prematurely. That might sound flippant, but I truly feared the anger of my parents, the disappointment in their eyes, and the alienation from them that it would bring. Lastly, there was something inside me that just knew  those choices were not right. That something was the Holy Spirit. I asked Jesus to be my savior when I was nine years old, and I was raised in an atmosphere of reverent respect for the Lord. Now don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t a perfect child and teenager. I have my share of wild stories, but I just never got comfortable even desiring those things that my generation was so quickly embracing. I am so very thankful to the Father that the whispers and sometimes yells of the Holy Spirit were heard by my heart and mind.

So, here I am, thirty years later, still all about peace, love, and joy, knowing that those are part of the fruit of the Spirit that lives inside me. I have experienced them and enjoy them immensely. But I wonder sometimes why I have peace one day, then worry or fear the next. I enjoy love and joy for a while only to realize that they have slipped away – again. What is keeping me from living in those attributes everyday? Again, I find myself faced with a choice. That choice is found in Philippians 4:6-7 but can be easily overlooked if I am not careful. Look at those two verses, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

With thanksgiving…The attitude of gratitude! If I want peace to guard my heart and mind, to keep it from going into the overdrive of irrational thought that leads to fear, insecurity, low self-worth, etc., I must come to Him thankful for everything that comes my way. Now, it’s easy to be thankful for the all the good in my life, but giving thanks for the insignificant, the not-so-good, and the really awful circumstances and situations is a different thing! Sometimes unfair and or even tragic things happen to me or to those I care about. I find it very challenging to be thankful in the midst of despair. The Apostle Paul was human; he knew as he penned those words that they were impossible for him or any of us to do. That’s why, a few verses later, he also reminded us that, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength.” (4:13) – Meaning having an attitude of gratitude in the most difficult of circumstances. Yes, I can do that! The Father can help me see the good, the possibilities, even the blessings that He will bring out of the darkest situations.

Once, I was a “hippie-wanna-be” who chose NOT to fully embrace “hippiedom.” That was good. Now I find myself being a “Jesus-wanna-be” choosing TO fully embrace His Kingdom and all that it offers me in this life and throughout eternity. That is good. I choose to have an attitude of gratitude – even when it’s too difficult for me because I know He will give me the strength.

Sometimes, God Asks the Unthinkable...

My spiritual heart has always been torn between passion and reason. Since my teenage years, I have loved the Lord and wanted to serve Him. The passion-part of me wanted to say to Him, "I'll go wherever and do whatever You want!" The reason-part of me did say, "I'll go wherever and do whatever...within reason." In other words, I have put parameters on what I would do for God. Have you ever done that? If you have, you - like me - will never know what blessings we have missed.

We run into a man in Acts who was asked to do the unthinkable. It wasn't an easy decision, and he wrestled with the Lord over it. But, eventually, he decided to trust Him and be obedient - and it paid off with tremendous blessings. His name is Ananias, and his story is told by the writer of Acts in chapter  9 and then recounted by Paul in chapter 22.

Saul (later called Paul) was on his way from Jerusalem to Damascus with a letter from the high priest giving him permission to arrest anyone belonging to "the Way" and bring them back to Jerusalem to be tried. Saul was responsible for ravaging homes belonging to believers and having them imprisoned and even killed. Remember, he was present at the stoning of Stephen and even thought to be the overseer of that event. Saul was an educated Pharisee who violently rebuked the good news of Christ. He was powerful and influential. The believers in Damascus had heard that Saul was coming for them, and, undoubtly, were somewhat frightened even as they were learning to trust and stand tall in their faith. It is really hard for me to wrap my brain around the idea that someone would want me dead because of my belief and faith in Jesus Christ! That's where we, as Americans, are so very blessed...we don't face that kind of opposition to our faith - yet.

While on the road to Damascus, Saul encountered the risen Christ, and it changed his life. He was left blinded by the encounter and given instructions to go on to the city and wait. In the meantime, the Lord appeared to Ananias in a vision. Let's talk about Ananias for a minute. We know from the scriptures that Ananias was a devout Jew who believed Jesus was the Messiah and became a follower of "the Way." His name means "the Lord is gracious." He was a quiet leader of the church at Damascus who had a close walk with Jesus - so much so, that he recognized the Spirit speaking to him through his vision. I must admit that I don't always recognize when the Spirit is speaking to me. When I've been out-of-touch with Him, His voice is sometimes vague. Again, I have to wonder what have I missed because I didn't hear Him???

However, Ananias DID recoginize His voice, but he didn't like what he heard. God asked the unthinkable of him! Actually, He didn't ask; He told. God told him to go to this particular place and ask for Saul of Tarsus, that he would be found praying. Okay, let's look at this. Ananias knew who Saul of Tarsus was - the persecutor of Christians, the one who gave the nod to Stephen's death, the one coming to Damascus to do the same to him and the other believers! Ananias' reaction was swift, "Lord, he is coming here to do us harm, maybe even kill us, and You want me to present myself to him like a present? I can't believe what You are asking me to do!" (My paraphrase)

Wow! How many times in my life have I had the same "silent" conversation with God? I can't give You complete control of my life because You might ask me to do something I just don't think I can do! Or go somewhere I just don't think I can go. Or ask someone for forgiveness that I just don't think I'm ready to forgive. Or share Jesus with someone that just might not want to hear about Him. Or...the list goes on...

The Lord's answer to Ananias' concern was, "Go..."  So he did...and he found the blinded Saul who had encountered Jesus but needed someone to share with him how to go about this new life. Saul regained his sight, was baptized, spent several days with the disciples learning more about Jesus, and was empowered by His Spirit to preach His salvation. And the rest, as they say, is history. Paul became a missionary and church planter. God used Paul to take the gospel westward to Asia Minor, Greece, and eventually Rome. Paul authored 13 books of the New Testament. Paul, who once imprisoned believers, was imprisoned several times for being a believer. Paul, who persecuted believers, was perscuted because he believed.

It is easy to focus all the attention on Paul, but let's not forget Ananias. Saul was able to become the Paul we love because Ananias "went" when God told him to "Go." He trusted God and his passion for Christ when his reason told him to stay and play it safe. The experience of Ananias reminds us that we should never be afraid to obey God's will. Joshua 1:9 - "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

How many times has God asked the "unthinkable" of me? I know I have missed many blessings because I have yielded my passion to my reason. I can't retrieve those times, but I can NOT miss them in the future. That's my prayer - to hear like Ananias, to trust like Ananias, and to be used like Ananias. Who knows how many "Paul's" may be in my path?

When Life Looks Bleak...

How does life look to you right now? Is everything going your way and all is right with the world? Or are you at one of those junctions in life where things are not progressing the way you had hoped and dreamed? It is so much easier to smile and praise the Lord during our happy times than in our down times. Sometimes, we may even begin to wonder where God is and if He has abandoned us. No doubt, the most difficult step in our walk of faith is to trust Him when life is a bummer. It brings out the age-old question, "Why does a 'good' God let such bad things happen to good and or innocent people?"

That was the question discussed on the air-waves for weeks after the attacks of 9/11, and again, after the Tsunami hit Indonesia, and again, after the devastating earthquake in Haiti. Why would God allow such destruction? Obviously, I am not a scholar or a theologian (not a surprise if you've been reading my blog), but I can share what I've learned through personal experience and time with the Lord.

To begin with, I had to accept the fact that God is God - omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, and I am NOT. Therefore, I will never fully understand the mind of God and His ways until I am fully in His presence on the other side of this life. That usually doesn't set too well with the human mind that is inquisitive and strives for reason. "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 - Our walk with Christ is a walk of faith. That has to be nailed down in order to move forward in that relationship.

With that said, God DOES allow bad things to happen to good people. However, His Word assures us that "Everything will work together for good, to them who love the Lord and who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 - We saw that with the stoning death of Stephen in the book of Acts. That horrible death was the pivotal event that caused the newly-birthed Church to be ravaged by the likes of legalistic Jews like Saul. That persecution caused the Christians to scatter in all directions away from Jerusalem. It was the beginning of the fulfillment of the Great Commission - taking the gospel to "Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the uttermost parts of the earth." God used the murder of Stephen to spread the Good News to the rest of the earth - that was the "good" that came from his death.

God will use everything to work His purpose in this world. When life throws us a curve, we need to seek His will and purpose and not give in to the human nature of anger, bitterness, hatred, or even the desire for revenge. I know upfront that I won't be able to accomplish that on my own. My nature is so "human!" I must rely on the power of the Holy Spirit - God's power in me - to look for His purpose and His desired reaction. Sometimes, He wants us to do something immediately. He told the Jerusalem Christians to go - to leave Jerusalem for safety reasons, but, ultimately, to spread the Gospel.

Later in Acts, He told Paul and Silas to stay - in their prison cell - to spread the Gospel. Paul and Silas found themselves in the city of Philippi on their second missionary journey (Acts 16:12-40). Philippi was a Roman colony on the continent of Europe, and they continued to spread the Gospel westward. While there, they stirred up a commotion among the citizens when Paul cast out an evil spirit from a girl who had been following them and yelling at them for several days. The problem was with this slave girl's master. Once the evil spirit was gone, she could no longer make him money with her fortune-telling. Paul and Silas were eventually brought before the magistrate, who had them beaten, shackled, and thrown into prison. Their relationship with the Lord allowed them to be joyful - even in the midst of a deadly situation. By midnight, they were praying and singing hymns of praise - and the other prisoners were listening to them while the jailer had fallen asleep.

How could they be so full of joy after and during such an event? They were beaten with clubs and then their feet fastened into stocks. I can't really imagine how difficult it would be to endure such an attack. All through the book of Acts, we've seen how important prayer had become to those early believers. And in this dire situation, Paul and Silas once again turned to prayer. That is how their human nature of bitterness and desire for revenge did not overtake them. Their spiritual nature of peace and joy in whatever circumstances they found themselves in did take over. So much so, that they started singing - right there in the prison cell! The heavens reacted to their praise with a huge earthquake that shook the very foundation of the prison house - even causing the cell doors to open and their shackles to unfasten!

Here is where they had to really listen to the Holy Spirit and not their own. My spirit would have looked at those open doors and loose shackles, and said, "Run for your life!" But when the jailer did go in, ready to kill himself for letting the prisoners escape, there they were - all of the prisoners - not just Paul and Silas! Don't you know the jailer looked at those guys with astonishment? In fact, verse 29 says with trembling and fear he fell down before Paul and Silas and asked what he had to do to be saved! They told him, he responded, and he met Jesus! As far as we know, he was the first Roman soldier on European soil to become a believer and follower of Christ!

God used the difficult situation with Stephen. The Spirit told those Jerusalem Christians to go, which they did, and the gospel was spread throughout the region. God used the difficult situation with Paul and Silas. The Spirit told them to stay, which they did, and the gospel was spread to Europe. No situation we may find ourselves in is for naught in God's purposes. He will take whatever comes our way - good or not - and use it for His good - IF we allow Him access to our hearts.

If it hasn't happened to you yet, it will. Life will throw you a curve - probably several. You, all of us, will endure some type of suffering in this life. How will we react? Whenever I suffer, whether it's a little or a lot, I don't want it to be wasted suffering! I want to be spiritually able to release it to Him and let it be used for His purposes. I want to hear Him say, "Stay," or "Go". I want those times to be markers on my walk of faith that represent something good that He has done. What about you?